Long distance relationship and his ex wife..

Honestly I just need reassurance, especially from anyone who has been in my shoes. Sometimes I get really insecure because I’ve never been in this position and this whole long distance thing is new to me.

Back story on me: I was married once, for one year, then he left me. This was a couple years ago. My ex husband and I don’t talk unless it has to do with the dogs we shared and some financial stuff.

His back story: He was with his ex wife for 3 years, got divorced last year. The divorce was a mutual agreement. He said after the 1st year together they felt more like friends then spouses. They have dogs together and a house together. She currently lives at the house and he’s in the military and lives on base. They plan on selling the house in the next year.

How we met: we are both military, I was home on leave and met him at a local bar when out with friends. Turns out we grew up 30 minutes away from each other and we share the same group of friends, some how we just never met! We met the night I had to leave. After the bar we hung out and just talked for a couple hours, then exchanged numbers. We txted and called every day for 2 months after and then we both decided to meet up in our home state for a week. We got a hotel and long story short we ended up both falling in love.

I warned him from the start that I was not looking for a relationship or commitment but then I fell in love and now we are dating and pretty serious. I have a couple years left on my contract and he wants me to move in once I’m out. He also just came out to visit me and I’ll be visiting him next month.

We are trying very hard to see each other at least every 2 months for a week.

I was raised to be very independent and I also have a fear of falling in love because it can lead to heartbreak. One of the only issues we have in our relationship is his friendship with his ex wife. Idk, it just seems odd to me. He has made it very clear they are just friends. They hang out together and every week he goes back to the house to hang and see his dogs. His ex knows all about me and it does make her jealous some times.

What really pissed me off is that I’m flying in on Valentine’s Day. I never celebrate it but we are going all out for our first one together. Starting with a fancy dinner then later going to a club together then back to his place. We planned to get drunk and stay out/up late but then his ex asked if he could drive her to the airport at 2:30am (airport is 2 hours away). That made me super mad because she could easily ask one of her friends AND it ruins our night because now he has to stay sober and end our night very short, leaving me at his place alone for 4 hours on the FIRST night of me visiting him and Valentine’s Day night!

I’m probably being super dramatic about all this but I started crying when he told me all this. I know, I’ve only been with him for 4 months now and I’m just his little “girlfriend” and she was in his life for 3 years and they were married so that makes her more important than me and it makes me feel like second priority. Although he shows me a lot of love and I trust him, it just bothers me how buddy-buddy they are. Is this normal? Them being all close and stuff? I’ve talked to him about all this many times and he always try’s his best to reassure me but it still gets in my head and messes with me. I mean I’m not close like this with my ex at all and me and him ended on a good note!

Thanks to whomever took the time to read all that! Let me know what y’all think about it all.