Thinking it’s not meant to be

Such a challenging few years of my life. I was with someone who didn’t want any more kids because he already had 2 and felt like he was too old to start over. Ended up leaving that because I was mentally and emotionally abused everyday on top of not wanting kids.

Fast forward. Now I’m with someone who potentially physically can’t have kids....

Starting to feel like God is punishing me and it’s not meant to happen for me. I feel like everything has been a sign so far and that I’ll forever only be a step mom and get treated like garbage by the bio moms.

What. An. Emotional. Day.

I honestly don’t even know where to go from here.

Sorry... just needed somewhere to vent as no one else can relate to what I’m even going through.