When you brake your morals **trigger warning **

Question

So I was prolife. I was a good person. I was 2.5 years clean from cutting. Then I had an abortion because I couldn't afford another baby. Now all I do is cry. And wonder what it would have been. I get so mad at myself I was a recovering anorexic. Now I have only eaten 5 meals in the past week. I dont deserve the food. Idk anymore I just wanna lay down and surrender but I cant I have to take care of my son. I have to teach my son to be strong.  I have to not surrender.  I have to live with my choice to kill someone that never did anything but exist. It like my husband always says I asked for this

Answer

You did the best choice for yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Look at the half a million kids in foster care who either won’t get adopt or some don’t have anything or no one. We need to be more focused on the children already on this earth. I’m sure it’s painful but I wouldn’t be that hard on yourself about it. I’m also sorry you had to go through that. My best wishes out to you.

Answer

You asked for this? What kind of a husband is he?

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you did what was best. i would recommend seeking counseling & speaking time a professional. you could be suffering from PPD as well. you’re no less of a good person for making the right choice for you & your family.

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You did what was best for you and your family, try to remember that. Focus on your son, you did this for him to give him a better life. You will always wonder who that other child might have been, that’s normal. Take time to grieve and take care of yourself. I’m sorry your husband is acting that way, I hope you have someone else to talk to.

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I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist. It sounds like you are struggling with depression and just a wide arrange of feelings that you need to sort out. I think what you’re feeling and going through is normal following an abortion.

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Therapy would be very beneficial. Don’t be scared to seek help. I was scared to go at first, but trust me, it will be worth it!!!!

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I think you need help sweetheart. It sounds you are dealing with a lot of issues and could really use a helping hand. Abortion, eating disorder, massive guilt, cutting, depression...these are all massive issues in and of themselves, adding them all together you have a situation that is unbearable. 
There are alot of resources out there, many professionals who can help you, medication that can help as well.
As for your husband, I'm not going to comment negatively on him, nor should anyone else. It's really simple to see a paragraph long snippet and think you can quantify a whole relationship, but the fact of the matter is you cant. It sounds like your husband has been with you for the long haul, and I'm sure he's burned out and feeling helpless at this point. I say this as a devil's advocate because I feel the last thing you need to add to your shoulders is the confusion of wondering how much love your husband has for you. Get better first, then you evaluate the state of your relationship if it's an issue
I wish you all these best and hope that you find your peace and solace sooner....rather than later. ❤

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I would definitely suggest some therapy, and perhaps a serious talk with your husband. It’s certainly not your fault, and if anything, your husband is in the wrong. You went through something traumatizing, and he’s doing nothing to support you in the situation. Therapy seems like a very good option and if your husband refuses to change, I would suggest divorce. No man who loves his wife should ever belittle her like that. We’re all here for you🥰

Answer

Doesn’t sound like he’s very supportive or validating. You don’t “deserve” to suffer. 
In my opinion, pro choice are “good people” too
Sounds like you are grieving. You also made the best decision for you at the time. Is there a support group you can join? 
Hoping you can find some healing.

Answer

You aren’t alone

When you brake your morals trigger warning

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