My head is confusing.

So obviously (as this is the baby fever group) I want to have a baby. But my husband and I aren't ready to do it - we are not as financially stable as we'd like, and we both want to be a little further along in our careers too. So we've agreed to wait (probably at least another year).

But I cannot shake the feeling and desire. I sort of reached a breaking point yesterday. I've had some weird symptoms over the last couple month, and unusual spotting and bleeding. My crazy head decided, hey maybe *maybe* you're actually pregnant. There really is only the tiniest of chances of that though. I'm on the pill, and we mostly use condoms too. Tiny, tiny chance of pregnancy.

But I took a test anyways. First time I've ever tested! Negative, of course.

Now, I'm glad it's negative. Sort of. I mean, there was such a tiny chance, I was just being silly. But part of me is disappointed. Very much.

Ugh. I don't know where to go from here.

Thanks for letting me rant.