How do I know if I actually like him? Or how do I tell him without making it awkward?

I used to talk to this guy and we would talk on and off for like 2 years and fool around for those years. And up until recently (please don’t judge) we have become “fuck buddies” and I love it because I haven’t really wanted an actual relationship and the last time we were together before he left he gave me one of those couplely good bye kisses and since then I’ve had a crush but idk if it’s real or not... I’m confused cause when I think about him I get happy but idrk for sure and I don’t want to say anything if it isn’t real and make things awkward between us... somebody please help me any advice will be appreciated!