Hi random people on the internet, this year the 27 days that's it's been 2020 have already made it clear to me that I'm destined to fail at everything.

I started the new year with my friends in a hotel it was great (other than my sinus infection) but it started getting shitty on the 4th, I used to work at a Dunkin' Donuts but on January 4th this year we were held up while I was working the register, I'm 16 years old, I had a gun pointed at me, I was terrified, my parents made me quit, okay well now I'm traumatized and out of a job.

But that doesn't seem to matter anymore because soon after that my 26 year old cousin had a heart attack and died, like wtf why would life take her so soon???

But today I got my first parking (which isn't that important bc I definitely should've got one 5 months ago since I was parking in the staff parking at my school) and also in combination of last night and today I told my boyfriend about how my stepbrother had sexually assaulted me multiple times so like once I got my sister and I home from school I asked my dad if I could go to Walgreens to pick up a drink bc I didn't want to drink water so I make it like about a block from my house and my glasses fall off so I go to grab them but I wasn't slowing down fast enough and I rear end the car in front of me (no one hurt thankfully 🙏🙏) and basically total my stepmom's car and I'm freaking out like I couldn't believe I had just done that and I couldn't communicate with the people in the car I hit because they didn't speak English or Spanish so I call my dad and he called my stepmom but I didn't know what to do and I don't have a job rn so idk how I'm going to be able to pay them back but as of right now I've given them all the money I had ($260) and I want to give them more but I don't have more and need to get a job omg I'm so stressed I can't do this I so wish that the cat was fine and I'm not, that'd be so much easier because then I'm not preventing my family from getting to where they need to be.

I just want someone to talk too.

I'm so lost, I have no idea what to do, please help

Also to try and make some money I got poshmark (fgore1023) and I'm going to sell some customized converse soon but I have two pairs of pants listed, ik that's not much but I don't really have things to sell. Do you have any ideas to make money? I don't want it to do with driving because I just can't do that

I hope all of you have had a better year than me, wishing you all the best ❤️❤️

01/29/20 update even tho ik no one cares

Today has been a significantly better day than the last two, but I literally can't even be in a car with out freaking out, I will not drive and I can't sit in the front seat. I've been sitting in the back but now every time the car I'm in is breaking I feel like it's not going to break enough and we'll crash and I keep flashing back to me crashing and it freaks me out, if anyone has anything i formation that could be beneficial to me please share, I'll take anything