Let me first start by saying how insanely grateful I am to my inlaws. They are such amazing people.

My husband has a spending problem. In 2013 we almost had to sell out house because he maxed out his credit cards and we were having trouble surviving. My inlaws are well off so my FIL sat down with him. My inlaws paid off all his credit cards and closed them. I was the only one with a card because I could be trusted since I’m a saver.

Fast forward to now. His parents told us that since we were looking for a new home that they would like to gift us $40,000 as a down payment. I was floored. Like WOW. Until we started discussing things with them and my husband opened up to all of us that he had secretly maxed out his credit card again. He only just got it a couple years ago after we saw he had his spending under control. I feel so ashamed. I told him we need to get it under control. That he can’t keep doing this. He said that he’s saved man now and he wanted to come open about it to show everyone that he’s serious about a solution.

I’m a huge saver and I’m a saved christian. So I don’t spend money I don’t have. I try to use as little resources as possible. I was also brought up poor and he was brought up in an upper class family. This morning his mom sent us both an email talking about the debt. She really laid into us about how wrong we both have been with this debt and how we need to prove ourselves in order the get the down payment money. All the updates we need to do to the house to sell it are on me. That FIL is saddened we let ourselves get in this hole. That we’ve lived way too extravagantly. I just read it so I’m still feeling emotions on it. Like, I had no idea and it’s my fault. I’ve never lived extravagantly. My biggest money spending is groceries (yeah I’m cool).

My husband agreed with everything she said but I feeling hurt and ashamed that he did this and I’m in trouble too. Like I let it happen? Like I was a bad wife when I’ve tried my hardest to be a good one. 🙁

Sorry I just needed to vent and I have no one to talk to about it.