1 year later

Exactly one year ago on this day i found out that i was pregnant. i was terrified but i was thrilled to be a mother. in my second trimester, i started having complications. I lost the baby & almost my own life. Emergency surgery & two blood transfusions later, i’m here but without her. After many months with no success, i decided to see a specialist. I was told at 24 that i wouldn’t be able to have children without IVF because i have low egg count & quality. I gave up. Things with my partner have been getting worse & we have been looking for separate housing. ONE ENTIRE YEAR later and i notice my period still hasn’t shown up. take a test, expecting it to be negative like they have been for the last year. Nope, positive as hell. A positive test when my life is seemingly crashing down around me. The world works in mysterious ways i guess. I wish that I could be excited but i’m not. i’m scared. scared i’ll go through another loss, scared for the future of my relationship as well.