Today I feel off, I just miss my baby. I wish I had friends I can vent too! My husband is there for me but just to have someone who feeeels me completely would be awesome! I remember naming him he was going to be name Owen & I wasn’t feeling it! I prayed and asked God if this is it let it be but I just kept feeling deep down no isnt his name. Lukah always felt right. & when my husband said reign for the middle name that didn’t feel right but when he passed and we picked a name reign felt so right to go with lukah! In those two hours he was with us before he passed he reign on earth... he was my everything! I wish I could get those two hours back! I also pray and wish I wouldn’t obsess over trying again. I know I still need healing.. I know I want a baby so bad cause I feel so empty handed but I don’t want to be so obsessive over trying to convince! I want to let go and let God but it is harder said than done! I pray for each and every one of you on your hard days and good that you feel joy , you get signs that your baby is around. Crazy story I said if my baby came back something it would be a bird or dove three times already after we brought his ashes back little birds came to visit us always in pairs of two. One time the little bird was in Lukahs bassinet. I know that was something to make me feel like he’s here and mommy it’s going to be okay!!!