My traumatic birth story.. FTM Induction

Shannie • 01/28/2020 👶🏼💙 11/30/2021 👶🏼💖

01/22-I was 1.5-2 cm and had a cervical sweep; I walked and bounced on my exercise ball a lot.

01/23-7:50 am I woke up to tiny a popping in my vagina and had a cramp. I went to the bathroom and had my bloody show!

01/24-2:00 am I had more mucus plug come out. The greenish kind this time.

01/27- Induction day at 39 weeks and 3 days. At 7 pm, cervidil was inserted. I was already 2cm dilated and 60% effaced.

01/28- I woke up at 6:30 am and had another pop in my vagina and more bloody show. I was 2cm dilated still and walked for about an hour. 8:30 am, my midwife broke my water. At 9:30 am, I was at 4 cm. Contractions started to pick up. I decided to get in the birthing tub to work through some contractions. I told my midwife I wanted pain management soon through the IV. I got back in to the bed and she checked me. I was at 6 cm. This was probably around 10:15 am. Contractions really started getting bad and I was struggling to breathe through them without shaking and moaning and I asked for the IV medication. Contractions weren’t completely unbearable at this point but very close. I needed something to help me through. I tried different positions and the pain was getting worse. The medication was ordered and the nurse came in at 10:30 am or so with the drug,

and my midwife checked me. I was at an 8.. there was no time for medicine, anymore. I was moaning and crying through the contractions. I felt like I couldn’t do it. She checked me again about 20 minutes later, and I was at a 9. This is where it got to it’s worst point. Baby was stuck behind a lip in my cervix. I was in absolute indescribable agony. I can’t put in to words how much pain I was in. My midwife needed me to try and pee to make room for baby to come out. I felt like I couldn’t get up.. there was no way I was standing up. Somehow, the nurses, my midwife, and my SO got me on to a commode next to the bed. I sat and needed to push. I couldn’t help it.. I was screaming, crying, morning as loud as humanly possible. I couldn’t pee like they needed me to and my midwife told me I couldn’t push. Baby was stuck behind a lip in my cervix still. I got back on to the bed. They quickly put a catheter in me to drain my bladder. My midwife then had me go on my hands and knees to get the baby down around that cervical lip. It hurt too bad and my legs were going numb. I got back up to the commode because I could move up and down with my contractions and use the commode handles to work through it. I went back and forth from from sitting to standing to work through the excruciating pain. I got back in the bed once again and was still in the worst pain you could possibly imagine. She had me lay on my side to work through the contractions. At 11:45 am, she checked me. I was at 10 cm and finally ready to push for real. I pushed with everything I had left in me. I could feel his head right there and knew it wouldn’t be long. I was so ready to push him out. My midwife then yelled for me to get on my back but I couldn’t move. The pain was too much. I learned afterward that baby’s heart rate drastically dropped and needed to come out right then. The nurses flipped me on to my back. I held up my legs with some help from the nurses and pushed, once again, with all the life I had left in me.. At 11:52 am on 01/28/2020, my sweet baby boy Jake made his way into the world at 8lb 11.6 oz and 21 inches long. Daddy caught him and cut his cord. I delivered him in 7 minutes between 4 contractions. Just over three hours in active labor, but it felt like eternity. I delivered the placenta shortly after. If my traumatic labor and delivery wasn’t enough for me already, I had quite a few superficial labial tears and two slightly deeper tears right inside my vagina. My midwife sewed what felt like the entire length of both sides of my labias and then one of my vaginal tears. It took almost 45 minutes to sew me up. I felt the needle and the string go in and out for almost half of the sutures. The Novocaine wasn’t helping as much as it should have. She had to put numerous shots in my vaginal area to make it numb enough for me not to feel it. I stated my entire pregnancy and during labor that I wished for IV meds at the least and would get an epidural most likely but just not too early on. It didn’t work out that way.. For me, going all natural for birth was very traumatizing and I will have a long road of mental (and physical) recovery ahead of me. I wouldn’t change it for anything, of course, as I brought my most precious gift into the world. I also want to share that my midwife was absolutely amazing and did so much for me and my son through birth. She was a wonderful coach. My SO was so so amazing. I’m incredibly thankful and blessed beyond words to have such an amazing man in my life. I just wish things would’ve gone the way I had planned. It was one of the only things I wished for for my birth other than getting me and baby through it healthy and alive. But he is here and he is so perfect.

Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. Here’s my baby boy 💙💙