So I had a mc in Sept this year after TTC for 3 years. It took a giant toll on me. We werent TTC again because I wasnt emotionally ready. We had a drunk night we didnt use protection (literally the only night). In Oct I was pregnant again. I've had anxiety ever since I found out. I've slowly let myself get excited the further along I get. This baby is all I ever wanted and I do understand how lucky I am and I am very greatful so plz dont say I'm not. I just wish I was emotionally more ready before this happened. But things happened how they are meant too. Recently I've felt weird talking about the baby. Even to the babys father. I've hated my stomach touched. I've avoided baby shower talks with my best friends. Ive wanted to go to drs appts alone for the simple fact is something turns out wrong, I want to be the first to know and the first to tell everyone on my terms. I know most of it is because I still think the worst will happen and I dont want to get everyone excited and have them crushed again and its very hard for me to let myself get excited. But its turned into ppl telling me I'm messed up and taking the fun out of things because I never want to talk about the baby. I'm excited. Dont get me wrong. I just always seem to stop myself or others from getting excited too. And no one seems to understand. Just thinks I'm sucking the fun out of a new baby. I just cant seem to get the negitive out of my head. I dont shut down convos about the baby. I just try to cut them short or avoid them. I know I need to talk to someone. It just scares me to be forced to talk about it. Am I really that messed up? Is this really that uncommon after a MC?