So I have these recurring dreams about someone I knew a long time ago. They are always romantic/sexual in nature. We met in high school, and were instantly inseparable. We were together in classes, and at each other’s houses all the time, we could talk about anything and everything. There was definitely always a certain chemistry but for some reason our timing didn’t initially line up and we were just really close friends. People used to compare us to Dawson and Joey 😂 I got into a tumultuous relationship with his best friend, and he dated another girl in our friend group. A few years went by. At a certain point I’d broken up with the boyfriend and he’d broken up with the girlfriend and we kissed. He wanted to pursue something and we decided to try even though it was summer and we’d be in different towns for a few months. We sent actual snail mail letters and he mailed me a bracelet for my birthday. I really did like him but for some reason I kind of freaked out and backed off. Before school started up for our senior year I got back together with the boyfriend. It was an awful move, I handled it terribly with my friend, and it effectively ruined our friendship forever. We are not in contact anymore. Last I heard he married a lovely woman. I am married to a man I live and we have a daughter and another baby on the way.

I don’t think about him in my day to day life. Except every now and again I’ll dream about him. Dreams that we’re together romantically and/or sexually. They’re always really vivid and very emotionally charged. They started when I got engaged to my husband I had them often - like multiple times a week. Then we got married and they tapered off. I didn’t think about this person or dream about him. And then I got pregnant with my daughter and the dreams started back up. It’s been a few years now since I’ve dreamed of him, but now I’m pregnant and i just had another one last night.

I’m confused, I don’t understand why this person pops into my dreams during times of change or why I only started these dreams after getting engaged. I love my husband dearly and they make me feel guilty and nostalgic at the same time.

What gives?????