I have no idea what group I should post this in... Do friendships...or lack thereof...count as relationships in this category? Probably not.

I’m 24 and happily married. I love my husband love spending time with him. He has a friend that’s great and I really consider him a friend and I love when we all 3 hangout....but I’m just so lonely. I don’t have any real friends. Girl friends. And if I do they live 100s of miles away. My friends will disappear for months without any contact, resurface and text me for a few days...weeks if I’m lucky...and then disappear again. I might get to see them once or twice a year if I’m lucky. I just feel so isolated. Like I cried last night over it. And then I cried even more because I felt like I was too old to be crying over it. Like I don’t even have friends that I can just happen to see in the store and spend 5 minutes talking. I don’t even have casual contact. Everybody dippin out of Louisiana.

And I understand my friends have their own lives and their own problems and can't always be around to hang out or coddle me or whatever. I'm fine with it and I understand. I love them. And I get it. I do. All of my friends go through bouts where they disappear for months. And it's okay. I know they need it. We're a generation full of mental health problems. Don't get me wrong I enjoy my alone time and can go quite a while without socialization before the loneliness sets in. It's just a part of my adult life that I wasn't prepared for but I'm slowly learning to accept. I've tried making new friends. It's not like I don't. But it just never pans out.

I tried venting to one of my friends last night and she just made me feel bad for venting to her and like I was annoying her. Now I don’t know where to go or who to talk to about it. They say to just go out make new friends, that you’re the only one that can change the situation. And I try. But they act like being an adult introvert, who still craves socializing, that had social anxiety and lives in the middle of nowhere an hour from almost any town and happens to be the youngest person at both church and work is just that easy. I’ve been crying off and on all day. I should be desensitized to the loneliness but I’m not. I try talking to the hubby about it but he just says “Im sorry. I’ll hang out with you. Im your friend.” And I know he means well and I appreciate it and really love him but it’s just not the same. I just want one friend. One measly friend that actually wants to hang out with me and doesn’t disappear for months on end and call me up just to chat and will go shopping with me or to get our nails done. Somebody I can have girl time with and will stick around once I start having babies in the future (all my current “friends” say they hate kids and never plan on having them. I feel like once I have kids one day they’ll become even more distant than they already are) . It doesn’t even have to be every week. I’d be satisfied with once a month. Or shit, more than once a year. Is that too much to ask? My mom says to pray about it. And I do. I have been for ages. I don’t think it’s doing me any good. I just feel so lonely and isolated. I cried myself to sleep last night while my husband held me.