How do you handle having 2 pregnancies ending up with nicu babies?

So im 30w5ds and im admitted to the hospital for leaking fluids. My last pregnancy same thing happened but at 33 weeks. They have me on magnesium but keep having to give me a bolus to get the contractions to go away. Im almost 24 hours in on the magnesium. I get my second steroid shot tonight. But emotionally how do you cope with back to back pregnancies ending up with nicu babies? They have no idea why im leaking. I dont have preeclampsia or high risk problems or anything