Backstory: My SO is divorced. He divorced his ex because they couldn’t have children (and some other stuff too). Children have always been super important to him. When we were trying to conceive our daughter, it took forever (so it felt). It took 8 months. My SO got incredibly pessimistic around month 5. We started having the doctors run bloodwork, etc. We switched ovulation strips and then within two cycles we were pregnant. The strips seemed more accurate. Prior to discovering I was pregnant, we were in a bad place due to the lack of luck. It was at the point where he wasn’t sure he wanted to be with me, and he stayed behind while I went on the vacation we had planned together, alone. When I returned, I got my BFP.

Fast forward: My daughter is 10 months old. We are on month 3 of trying for baby #2. I was confident that this time it would be quicker, as we knew which strips to use, etc. He said he thought it would take a while again. We even made a bet.

Lately he has been under a lot of stress at work, as well as at home. We have been baby proofing and it has made for lots of projects for him. He just seems disappointed about every little thing that happens. He doesn’t seem to want to spend time with me, it feels like he is being distant. I ovulate in a few days and I keep talking about it, trying to get him hyped up...but he just seems “meh”.

I asked him what was going on, and he said he was stressed and tired and felt discouraged about TTC. He felt like we might not have another baby. I reminded him that it is only month 3, and he thought it would take a while anyway. He said he felt discouraged because I had been so confident it would be quick this time (but like seriously? What do I know?!).

I hate when things feel this way. I don’t know how to best help him and to help our relationship. I am starting to feel insecure, like if I can’t give him a second baby then he might not want to be with me. He has never said anything along those lines, but sometimes I just feel like a uterus to him. 🤦‍♀️

What do I do? How do I lift his spirits? Obviously his mood is killing the sexy vibe too. Doesn’t really put me in the mood for baby-making.