All we hear when we are growing up is that if you have sex you will get pregnant. Well as so many of us have found that’s just not the case all of the time. My son was not planned, and we weren’t expecting to be pregnant and so now trying for baby #2 has been a challenge. In fact it’s one of the most stressful and hurtful things I’ve ever done. I’ve had three chemical pregnancies in three months. The first month I was so excited and just couldn’t wait to meet the little human I was growing and then the line disappeared. The second month I was still excited but cautious and prayed for the line to darken but nonetheless it disappeared too. Now on month three once again 10 dpo there’s a positive line and this time I didn’t feel excited in fact I barely even believed it was positive but a clear positive to everyone else. I didn’t allow myself to dream about the future or what this baby would look like. Instead I told myself that it didn’t matter until I had a picture of the baby with a beating heartbeat and once again the line disappeared. But this time it hurt a little less almost like I was expecting it. For two years now I’ve prayed that my son would have a sibling and now he has three, even though it was early and I never got to hear their heartbeats it still felt like I lost a little piece of my heart each time. Here we are, trying again, and I have to believe that this time I WILL get my rainbow baby it will be ok. I know for many women they never even get a positive so I am very pop thankful that I have one sweet baby boy here with me and three little angels 😇

Here’s to the agony of the tww and to the hope there will be a rainbow 🌈 soon❤️