I’ve known and talked with this girl for over two years since I’ve been going to this church and she’s the college pastors wife, and we started out talking I guess because she found out I was going through a hard time I guess I don’t know how. We did these bible studies together but she found out I was sexually abused and went with me to a pregnancy clinic and other things even though I told her I didn’t want to go. We got really close and she was super caring always texting me how I was doing and super sweet things like how much she misses me and things like that. I thought we knew eachother really well. But then she recently asked me a few months ago to teach this class with her on Wednesday nights and the director told me she specifically asked for me because she cares about me. Well... she thought something was wrong one night there so she asked me to get coffee and we did and she started asking me a ton of questions that I told her I didn’t want to tell her and she sat in silence until I answered her. I felt pressured. She assumed something happened with a man since I told her I was dating someone that wasn’t good and just assumed deep things. Did this guy do something to me? And I said yes it was rape and she said that made her sick. And asked me if I’ve been with other guys, if I was pregnant and got an abortion because I went to planned parenthood, told me I looked so skinny was I throw in up? Saying drinking leads to things, she wanted me to be friends with people who are Christians because mine aren’t. All of this was really retraumatizing for me and I just sat there for a lot of the time because I didn’t know what to do. I tried to switch from her class and thats when the childcare director got coffee with me and asked why because she said she cared about me. But then she called me afterwords and said she was never judging me and listened to everything and made sure everything was okay between us and to come back to her class. She asked about the police report and about it a few times after that at random places when people were close around which I did not want at all. I should have asked her to stop. But I didn’t and i went on this college trip with her and one of my friends just because she asked me to go and I wanted to make things better, but Ive been mad at her and ignored her during this trip. It was such a stressful experience getting lost in the airport by myself, losing tickets several times by the end of the trip I told my dad about being raped on the phone before I got on the plane and I ended up balling in front of everyone on the plane because I heard her talking in front of us on the plane saying I wasn’t being honest with her, that the way I touch her hand gives her the heebie jeebies, talking about my friend Julia that she called her ruthless, that I stare at boobs, something about that’s what I think too,to her husband. She didn’t specifically mention my name when I heard her mentioning these crazy things but I assume it was me and I wouldn’t know how to bring that up? I panicked to my mom I was like what if this lady thinks I’m a lesbian I don’t even do anything weird that I know of. I confronted her on the plane about it and only mentioned, we were sitting right behind you, and she came up to me and said Kennedy what are you talking about? And I said Julia thought you were mad at us? And she said you know there are other Kennedy’s on this trip right? I love you and there’s nothing to be sorry for and I’ve never been mad at you. I believed her then but my friend thinks she was lying. And now I do too, she’s been treating me differently since then and ignored me at church the past two times, I swear her husband stares at me, and like I complimented her and said she looked cute today which I usually don’t but she acted like it creeped her out like I have no idea what is up with this lady at all. Like Ive been getting panic attacks about this lady and the trauma a lot and I have been so upset and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

A few days ago she told me she’s having a baby and is 3 months pregnant so all this time. I’m really sad and I called her after she told me and asked if everything was okay, she said were good and that I was just tired during the trip. But I told her I’m a mess and really stressed out and didn’t tell her why. She said I could always call her. I tried to switch out of her class a few times without telling her which was so completely rude. And the fact that she probably thinks I’m a lesbian creeps me out. It used to be so great because I would go to her house and hold her baby and I got to go to the hospital when she was there. Everything fell apart. I don’t know what to do....did I just act this way from trauma and ruin the friendship.