So when I recently became a stepmom my stepson liked me a lot..

So he came to me for cuddles.. Which was cute, right? All step parents would be amazingly happy to have a good relationship with their stepchildren.

He still likes me but we had to create some distance because I felt violated by him if that makes sense..

I know he was only 6 years old and I don't want to think of him that way, like you should think that it's innocent or they don't know any better.. And we did for a while but it seemed to escalate..

He was always touching and rubbing my boobs and trying to get into my clothes and touching my arm or my hand at strange moments.

He only wanted to be washed by me and refused to was his own willy so I "had to" do it... He actually vocalised that he wanted to be in my bath at that time. (like with me naked in the tub in stead of dressed next to the tub)

He was always trying to sneak away from his dad to walk in on me getting dressed or bathing. Even when specifically told to stay away.

And I know people will probably tell me it's me thinking sick things of it.. But it really wasn't it felt really weird to me.

He actually always went for it.. Even though I moved his hand away he would move it back.. Or like I said, purposely trying to see me naked..

And after creating a distance it went well, having a healthier relationship with appropriate hugs and kisses on the cheek. But I was wondring what other people think of it.

Obviously I'm scared of talking about this because I'm sure people would think I'm predatory for even thinking this is weird..

@Alexis,

We now have 50% custody but at the time he was 80% with his mom. I don't know what or if he's seen anything.. But his older brother accidentally walked in on his mom performing oral on a boyfriend.. (he asked if I did that with his father, I told him that wasn't any of his business and he shouldn't even want to know)

I know he's been interested in sex too.. This has been a while but aparantly at age 7 he had his own ipad in his mom's house and he'd been looking up "sexing parents" as his brother found in the search history. I don't know if he's found anything though...

@Nicole:

Obviously I had a talk with his dad.

Which lead to creating clearer boundaries.

I don't think he talked to his ex about it, she already hated me anyways so she would have definitely blamed it on me. And he also had no concerns about her or anyone else abusing the kids.

At that point in time it also wouldn't have been my call to check for abuse, I had told his dad. And his dad also witnessed certain things that had happened.. Like the rubbing boobs and the sneaking off to seeing me getting dressed or in the shower. So telling his dad was as far as my responsability and my authority went.. We were together for maybe 6 months when this was clear it was weird.

You know.. After the period of "oh he's just touching by accident, running in on me by accident" (always said he needed to ask me something or needed to go to the toilet, while we had 3 toilets at the time and his dad was perfectly available for questions) I think it probably started the exact month I moved in with his dad but in the beginning you think it's just accidental or curiosity or just the habit of doing that with their mom.. (like coming in when she's bathing or on the toilet to ask a question for example)

Update: anyways, thx for being so open, to be honest, him getting molested by someone else didn't even cross my mind because towards me it was 1000% his initiative..

I'll be watching out for it more. The kids tell me more than they do their parents but I haven't so far heard of anyone touching them inappropriately.. Only about them witnessing their mom doing things, either seeing or hearing her.. When they tell me, I tell my husband and he tells her to be more carefull. Obviously It's no one's call to say someone shouldn't have intimacy at all...

@Amanda

The brother told me directly, he's only 3 years older. I don't know if he told his younger brother.

@Stephanie

Thx for your very constructive comment

Maybe we should do that, they indeed have unrestricted access to Ipad, both unrestricted in time as in access.

We don't agree with it but my husband has commented to their mom about it only she hasn't acted on getting it more restricted.. I don't believe many parents do...