I am curious of how you guys decided to ttc after losses and or struggles of pregnancy.. I know these are never the best if your still struggling but.. I've never really shared my story, Id love to hear yours. Here I go

My dh and I tried for 2 years before getting a positive test in 2018.. over joyed i went to a early pregnancy clinic to confirm the next day.. the test was faint but they determined I was due 7/15/19.. I was pumped, we shared our news on social media after the appointment. (Everyone Is different) the following 2 weeks were happy. Till I started spotting, my first prenatal appointment wasn't for a few more weeks due to holidays and me being brand new prego... I called they told me it was normal for spotting. But and if I was in pain to come in. Not knowing any better, and feeling pretty fine I waited it out. Literally one drop of red blood a day. At inlaws house 7 days before Thanksgiving i had a rush of pure white heat, painful cramps. And what felt like a electric shock on my left side. Later on im in the ER on pain meds I'm told it could be a ectopic pregnancy or it could take care of itself and I'll have a miscarriage, we had learned I also have a negative blood type and my husband's is a positive blood type, so any pregnancies I will have i will be needing rhogam shots to keep my babies healthy. Btw DH hates blood and fainted In the ER when I was getting blood drawn. It was crazy, whole 'nother story.. but any who 2 days before Thanksgiving I started bleeding heavily at work and went home right away to call my doctor, the nurse said over the phone "I'm sorry honey, sounds like you had a miscarriage " I stayed in bed for a few days sore and defeated..my mom drove to me that night to make feel better . I love my mama. after everything I hated being told "it wasnt ment to be" "it wasnt a baby yet" by others.

Not wanting to disappoint myself I stopped peeing on sticks for a whole year! I stopped trying, I was do disappointed I felt like a incomplete woman I couldn't give my husband a family... We moved back to my home town, needing a change

This year I figured it was time to try... My sister in law scored a ovulation test kit and the first test was positive, I'm like dam i better get to baby dancing.. not thinking about it but day after day they were still positive, i thought these tests are invalid, doing my research and what not I saw lh tests show up positive if your pregnant. I grabbed my digital the next morning and thay test was invalid 🙄 I bought a cheap blue dye test and it popped up instantly. I was shaking.. we weren't trying?! I cried tears of joy. I kept this quiet, only telling my boss i was making an appointment cause she's had her share of difficulty ttc and she kept it hush-hush for my sake. Thinking I was barely 4 weeks i get it confirmed on a Monday, Over joyed😍 ...but and the next day at work I feel a huge pain that was NOT cramps.. I was eating junk that weekend I thought it was terrible terrible gas. Stupid me. I went home that day and called the ER they said if I was still in pain or bleeding to come in if not stay home rest and drink LOTS and LOTS of water. I went to work pain free for a whole week, again 2 days before Thanksgiving I doubled over in pain and couldnt walk or move.. my DH carried me to the car and drove me to ER as fast as he could. Blood went threw my pants, I was flushed and held his hand so tight..An ultrasound later they said I was being flown to the hospital via helicopter for further examination, confused I asked why i was being flown out. They told me I'm having an ectopic and its life threatening 💔 I was flown out alone, scared for my husband to drive the 2 hours to the hospital alone, I had him call his family to Meet me there cause it's was 30 mins by chopper, and comfort him. My family was all at work and i couldnt get ahold of them, one of my cousins had to find my dad out fixing fence some where, but my parents came ASAP to show support

Turns out I was 8 weeks and my left tube burst that week before and my stomach was filled with blood and i had 2 cysts on my left ovary.. I'm lucky to be here and that i have the family I have, and my amazing supportful husband..as sad as i am about losing yet another baby, theres still hope I have one tube and both ovaries, I sit here wondering when should I try again? Im healing emotionally and physically i know its not going to be any time soon. Sorry for such a long story.. I was going to announce on Valentine's day to be safe, this year will be a bitter sweet holiday 😔