When I turned 18(still in high school) I was dating an older guy 26. I’ll make a long story short and say, this guy took advantage of me. He pimped me out to do an adult video with completely horrendous humans, they raped me, filmed it, and I got an std. (also on pornhub so all my friends/family have seen it).

My boyfriend was also very abusive during sex. I thought it was normal because he said it was his “kink”. After the rape incident I ended up having my IUD surgically removed because of complications and the std. The night after the surgery my ex demanded sex from me. I said no but he kept persisting, so I let him. During it he ended up injuring me because he was so rough my pelvic floor completely pulled. I had months of physical therapy afterwards. I dated him for another year still being abused, until he cheated on me and broke up with me.

There’s a lot more detail I’m leaving out but those where my two bigger traumatic events.

( Also if you wondering why I agreed to do the porn in the first place , I didn’t have any money and he suggested it. He didn’t know the men that raped me but contacted them and set it up. )

It’s been a few years now and I’m dating someone wonderful but I’m having a terrible time being intimate and keeping positive/ having any self confidence.

If anyone has any advice on how to handle sexual traumas and regain confidence please let me know.

Thank you❤️