Can you relate with me?

I don’t even know how to say it, but I finally went back to counseling and I knew I was depressed and It was confirmed, and I didn’t want to admit it. But it got worst when he said I might have bi-polar disorder, and I was really shocked. I got home and I told my parents and they said that it was my fault that I let myself get like that and It made me really sad. And I started feeling worthless and started blaming myself. I have been in a mood and my boyfriend and I had a date night with another couple at an arcade and I was doing so bad at the games, and lost against my friend and I felt horrible. And the winners played against each other and it my friend and my boyfriend and I got bothered. I didn’t want to see my bf enjoy a game with another girl. Then i kept not doing so well, and it was really crowded, and I got really anxious and upset and it shouldn’t be a big deal but that’s not what i needed at the time, and I cried a bit. And yes he did make me feel better but I was just not in the mood. But that really sucked. I have my second appointment this week and I’m really nervous. I feel so alone. Has anyone ever gone through anything similar?