ladies... i’m in a really tough spot right now. last night i found a message my boyfriend sent to another girl from 3 months ago saying “can i tell you something without you being mad?” followed with “in your last instagram post you looked really hot/sexy.” I’ve been with this guy for 3 & 1/2 years. We’ve gone through distance together, death together, & now college together. I do not want to leave him. I confronted him about it, no shame that I went through his phone at this point, & he told me that as soon as he sent it he knew it was wrong so the next day he apologized to the girl (she is a mutual friend) & told her he didn’t know why he said it, he loves me & doesn’t want to hurt me, & he would never say anything like that again. (she confirmed he did in fact tell her all of this). I want to know if the rest of you think this is emotional cheating? I do, & I told him that & he agreed it was, but I wanted to know other people’s thoughts. I know that you see other people & think they’re attractive, but to go out of your way to tell them? especially like that? there were no other conversations like that, they didn’t talk about anything else, she just said “thank you _____ (:” & that was it. I just don’t know. I don’t want to break up with him but I don’t know how to move forward.

Please don’t sit here & bash me for going through his phone, either. I HAVE NEVER done that. But for some reason I just had a FEELING something was wrong & I don’t know why. My heart is telling me not to leave him but my mind is saying this is grounds to do so. I know for a fact he would never physically cheat on me, he was in fact physically cheated on multiple times from the last girl he was with, but this was a punch to the face for me. How do I move on? Can I? Please don’t be mean or hateful. I just need some advice. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone I know because they’ll hate him & won’t want me to be with him, but they don’t know him like I do. I just am so hurt & unsure of how to move forward or if I even can. He owned up

to all of it, took all of my rage & crying & hateful words without getting an attitude or defensive or mean back, & knows he was wrong. I just don’t know how I can believe he won’t do it again.