I’ve been with my husband for almost 20 years; we have 5 kids and 3 dogs together, built a house together, and have built so many memories, good and bad, together. Lately, things have been rocky but I thought we were working through it.

The house we built was going close to auction (foreclosure) and he went behind my back to borrow money from his work. He knew I didn’t want him to do this because we couldn’t afford it, it was too much to balance into our already stressful situation. They take the money automatically out of his check and part of the deal was that they could take the mortgage payment out too. I was really mad (obviously) but he told me he wanted to save the house for our kids so I let it go.

Well last week, I guess he realized that I was right and started looking into second jobs. Something worth mentioning is that we used to work together but it became toxic so I left. I’ve been applying to every job I can find on a job site that I like but have only been able to be hired as a nanny for now. It’s only 4 hours a day/week - 13/hr but she plans on upgrading me to full time soon. He’s been passive aggressive before about it but it seemed to calm down.

Last night, I went to go to bed and LITERALLY as soon as I climbed into bed, he turned and grabbed my arm. Before I could even saying, he called me a slut, a worthless piece of shit, and that he wants the last 20 years of his life back.

When I asked him about it today, he says he was dreaming and that i “can’t be mad at him for what he does in his sleep” and made fun of my job. This isn’t the first time he’s called me names.

I’m so heartbroken but I feel like my kids need their dad.