I get super excited when I see new babies and baby bumps on my timeline, in person, etc. But deep down, the more time goes by without success to conceive, the more it really fucks with my head. Am I slowly and subconsciously making myself seem happy for other people as a type of coping mechanism? I have one son who is 6 and he's an amazing child. His father is a complete asshole, so I left when he was 5 months old. My current boyfriend and I have been trying like hell but my endometriosis is really putting blocks up and making this hell. Recently, my son's father and his girlfriend announced they are expecting. I'm falling the hell apart. That's what made me realize my inability to conceive may be having more of a negative effect on me than I originally thought. Of course, stress and shit makes it even harder to conceive. This shit is just killing me, y'all.