So my boyfriend and I been together for 8 months we been through a lot of shit together through these 8 months and me and him broke up 2 times (only lasted a week with both) I was the one to do it but ending up coming back. But anyway after the last break up which was super hard because I was sexually assaulted (raped) on December 31st and I did have 4 shots but it wasn’t the point. It was my god kids father who did it and I woke up with him on me and told him to stop. And my boyfriend thinks it was my fault because i was drinking and thinks I’m lying about it even tho I filed a police report and did a rape kit. He believed me at first till he talked to his buddy about it. And he lives in a different state because of military. And that weekend of it he was coming down to visit for The Weeknd like usual and he didn’t come straight to me he went to hang out with his buddies. And that really hurt my feelings then the next day I was crying because it still effected me with everything that happened. Specially since I’ve been through sexual assault when I was 14 years old. Well he left that morning and I was crying asking him to please not go to wait to tune his car (we are really into the car sene) and he said “no my friend needs me and we need to finish my tune and I promise them I would help with there work” and my heart dropped I begged him not to go to stay with me I needed him and went and left anyways. And I felt like my heart split in 2 pieces and that’s why we broke up the second time Well I wanted to try again and see if we would work we both would be working on our selfs. But recently I asked him “do you still have love for me?” He said “love is a strong word”. I felt force to say it back when I did” Even though on my birthday he told me for the first time he loved me when we were FaceTiming with out me saying anything. And he has been trying to change I see it he is getting better but I feel like ever since all that he has been more shady with his phone use to have me as a screen saver but deleted it and I’ll mention it but he won’t take the hint and add it back or a different pic. He Doesn’t FaceTime me or call me like he use to I always have to do it now. He uses snapchat way more often and doesn’t let me see his phone anymore and put a Password on his phone but didn’t have one before. Making me feel like he wants someone else that I’m only convent for the time rn. And the thing is I love him so much we been through so much stuff together I don’t think I could not love him. And he is trying but I feel like he isn’t being real with it. And we have so many good memories and still making them. I mean he had put so much more effort into this relationship he brought me Taco Bell two days ago with out me really wanting it or asking. He had been more affectionate in public . He hate public affection. But I just don’t know what to think about the other things! Am I over reacting? Is he cheating on me ? Maybe he is falling for me again ? Or is he falling out of love and trying to figure out how to get back into it? I asking that a lot now. Should I mention it because everytime I do it gets turned on me and I feel guilty and end up stop talking about it. He is amazing guy and I love him but is he really that amazing boyfriend?☹️😩😢😭 I’m so confused on our relationship.