I really like you. That's scary.

I had been cheated on, manipulated, made to feel worthless and wrong, I've given my all to people that never deserved it, and I know that now.

And then you came along and I thought to myself "let's just not overthink it and let it flow" and I thought it'd be easy. Just let myself feel anything I feel and not try to stop it, to just let myself be relaxed about something for once. But I'm scared, and it's not easy. I'm scared you'll think I'm not perfect and that you'll stop liking me. I'm scared I'll push you away if I tell you if somethings bothering me. I'm scared you'll stop replying and that you'll just find someone easier. That's why I don't talk about these things.

But every time you don't answer, I get flashbacks of being ignored. I don't want to be the one that always has to initiate everything first to make it work, I've spent years doing that and I'm terrified of going through that again. I'm scared you'll find someone better and just think I'm not worth your time and attention, cause I'm nothing special and I know that.

And I really like you and I don't think you're only with me for the sex, but one part of me is trying to make me feel like you are. And I don't know what to believe, cause its all in my head but my head is the only place I have right now. Sometimes I feel like you're not very into me, others I'm over the moon that you like me. It's irrational but I'm just so fucking scared that you'll end up leaving too, and every time I think of you I feel my heart beat just a little bit faster and I know that I'm falling but it's scaring the fuck out of me. Please don't leave, I still have so much love to give. I'd be thrilled to give it to you.