Me and my brother didn’t have the best sibling relationship growing up. He was mean to me, causing me to cry and scream a lot, and other times randomly nice to me and we’d play bored games and video games together and we acted like best friends sometimes. He pulled horrible pranks on me making me not trust him. He’d say horrible things to me, causing me to say horrible things back. Lots of mean joking as well. But he was very protective over me if one of his guy friends messed with me. As we got older we both distanced ourselves and he’s still an ass to me most of the time if we are around each other. But if there’s an emergency he’s always, always there for me. Strangely enough.

I think about this because looking back, through my school years, I realize I treated most boys the same way I’d treat my brother. Wasn’t very nice to them, not very trusting, saying mean “jokes” to them like me and my brother did to each other.

And now as an adult I find myself putting up with being treated badly, probably more than most women would. If the guy I’m in a relationship with says horrible things to me, or is disrespectful, I don’t even cry or get that upset, because I think I’m use to it after growing up being treated like that by my brother. Like I get mad, but not mad *enough.* Like I know my worth and I have self respect, but I also think I’m just not as effected as a normal person would be by being treated badly, and I don’t think someone doesn’t love me just because they may act that way. Do you think this has to do with the way my brother treated me?