Refractory Period Questions

My boyfriend and I have been hooking up more frequently as we get further into our relationship. This is my first time being sexually active. We haven’t had sex yet but we’ve done nearly everything leading up to it.

A week ago, after he came he immediately went back to pleasuring me. After about five minutes, he started jacking himself off again. So naturally, I helped. And about 15 minutes later he came (much longer than usual, but still he came).

Today, similar events ensued but we were much more vocal about the process. He kept trying to get himself off and I helped a lot. When I asked if he was close, he said “I’ve been close but I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”

So I have a few questions so I can better understand

- During the refractory period are men typically still turned on? Do they get pleasure or does it hurt? (I asked if he wanted me to blow him and he said yes, but I’m still curious)

- Is there a disconnect between being turned on and ejaculating? Because he got hard again very quickly but just couldn’t come.

- Is this a typical experience? Should we have given up earlier? We spent about 30 minutes trying to get him to reach that point. And I know he wanted to come, but it wasn’t possible for obvious reasons.

- Whats the best way to go about this in the future? Any similar experiences?