What to say to him

Question

Can anyone who has herpes tell me how they told their significant other they think they have it or they have it? I have no idea what to say to him☹️

Answer

Get tested so you know for sure. There's no point in saying you think you have it when you don't know. Unless he wants sex and you have a sore. Then you tell him you can't because there's something not right going on and you need to get checked out before taking any chances.

Answer

Definitely agree with previous post, get checked out first and foremost. If you test positive, give them time to process, particularly if their initial response is negative. Herpes can be difficult to deal with, but it doesn’t have to be. In this particular instance, if your SO decides they don’t feel like they can have sex with you, you can’t let it make you feel like they don’t love you. That being said, they should act compassionately and not judge you for it. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt: not everyone who becomes affected by herpes got it because they were being promiscuous. This isn’t something that just goes away. Once you’ve got it, you’ve got it. I don’t mean to scare you. But you have to respect the right other people have to not want to subject themselves to it. Also remember you can’t just not tell them **before** you have sex. I don’t think all states are like this, but where I live, if you don’t tell them first and you give it to them, they can actually press charges against you. If you test positive, you have to become extremely familiar with your body and understand how you’re physically feeling, as well as learn the triggers that lead to an outbreak for you. Stress, other illnesses, fevers, sometimes hormonal changes, or even rough sex (think minor trauma to the tissues), can cause you to either shed the virus (which is asymptomatic) or have an outbreak. Remember that you will be okay. You have to make some changes in some areas of your life, but it won’t affect every area of your life. Give yourself, and your partner, respect and time to process. Your doctor can give you more info.

What to say to him

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