This is really hard... so I'm going to make a warning now.. this is dark.. and terrifying.. and long, so be prepared.

I was 6. An uncle came to stay with us.. and used to regularly grab me and touch me.. for long periods of time.. for weeks. Well one time he was about to rape me. I was half asleep.. and I (now know) that his penis was pressed against my leg. I shifted away.. and he stoped.. that was the last contact.

With that said my dad died this week. I loved him more than anything, and he was such an amazing man. But my grandmother cant come unless my uncle drives her. Shes on oxygen.. and now I have to deal with the hardest day of my life.. his funeral.. and confronting my molester.

I have anxiety.. and depression, which run in the family.. but because of him ice had nightmares and terrors for well over 13 yrs. I am litterally sobbing my brains out and shaking just at the thought of this. I feel like I'm 6 again.. scared and not able to do anything

Now just as a tack on the funeral will be packed with strong family. And a few do know.. including my mom, other father, and sister. And I will be compleatly safe. This is not a physically dangerous situation for me. I want to make this a strong point.

I know myself. And I know I'm not afraid of the future.. but being forced to confront the past.. especially when I'm already raw from losing my father...

I just really needed to let this out. Thank you for listening