HELP...baby CANNOT self-soothe ??

Kaitlyn • Proud wife, and mom to Aubrey Grace ♥️ 12/4/19

I am at a loss. Our LO is 9 weeks old and ever since about a month ago, cannot put herself to sleep. We spend hours every night trying to put her to sleep in her bassinet and she just cries once she’s set down. We’ve tried:

-Nursing her to sleep then setting her down

-White noise

-Heating pad before she’s set down

-Shushing

-taking cara babies CRIES method

-The 5 S’s

-swaddling with arms in and arms out

- putting her down drowsy (this is the LEAST effective)

-putting her down diagonally so her feet and head are resting on the sides of the bassinet

If she does fall asleep and I’m able to set her down, she wakes up crying within minutes. I am not willing to let her CIO. She won’t take a pacifier, but sucking seems to be one of the only things that will calm her down. There are no signs that point to any sort of reflux problem, but I have had to cut dairy out due to her having gas problems.

Could it just be discomfort from being gassy? I have resorted to propping myself up on the couch and sleeping with her since this is the ONLY way she will sleep. Please no criticism for couch sleeping. I know it’s not safe and I’m desperate to fix this. She also will not nap during the day unless we drive her around or she’s in her moby wrap.

HELP PLEASE 😔 I know this baby is overtired and so are mommy and daddy. Photo added because she’s still the best thing since sliced bread ♥️

398 views • 9 upvotes • 24 comments

COMMENT (24)

Tn

Posted at
First, she is ADORABLE. Second, mama you are NOT alone and reading tour post made me want to cry because I don’t feel so alone. I’m a FTM and we are 2mos old. Word for word, EXACT SAME as you. Tried literally everything. Hates pacifier. Slew sucks. Won’t nap or sleep on bassinet. I get so desperate that I don’t give AF and I put her on my chest and sleep propped up on my couch. If I don’t, I will LITERALLY DIE OF EXHAUSTION. No one gets it. She sleeps 30min at a time. The other night she slept 4hrs and it was such a miracle I actually felt rejuvenated on 4hrs of sleep. My life sucks.

Tn

Tn • Feb 8, 2020
She always has gas. But I have stomach problems from pre pregnancy too so my diet is super restricted from not having a gallbladder. Still though, I read about all these babies waaay younger at 5-6weeks sleeping through the night... WTF. 😳🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐 🤔

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 8, 2020
Thank you! ☺️ ugh it’s so frustrating - it’s so hard to constantly be reading about the safe sleep guidelines, but what the heck do you do if your LO won’t sleep on their own? I mean, sounds like we’ve both tried everything! I am hoping it’s just a phase - they are still so young and hopefully they will adjust. Does your LO seem to have any tummy problems? Everything with ours points to gas pain. I can hear her tummy gurgling right now 😕

Tn

Tn • Feb 8, 2020
*sleep sucks

Y

Posted at
My LO wouldn’t let me put her down for the first 9 weeks, she has reflux and we just got medication and now at 10 weeks she sleeps on her back. I would sleep with her on my chest with two pillows under each of my arms for support so I couldn’t move.

Y

Y • Feb 8, 2020
I was she was throwing up her whole meal if I put her down, but I think there’s something call silent reflux, so definitely talk to your doctor about it. Good luck, I know how hard it is.

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 8, 2020
We’re you suspicious of reflux before she was diagnosed? I have myself propped up on the couch too so neither of us can move 😩 idk what else to do to get any sleep!

Le

Posted at
My 9 week old is like that. I sit for an hour after feeding with him asleep on my chest, I put him down, and he wakes up 😭

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 8, 2020
Ugh, I’m sorry, it’s so frustrating! There have been so many times I thought I’d be able to set her down bc she was sleeping to deeply, and then seconds later she’s like 👀

Je

Posted at
Have you tried different types of pacifiers? Some babies are very picky. Maybe a different brand will work. If this is a new thing, Maybe he’s still going through his leap. There is one that starts around 8 weeks and last for about 2 weeks. That can causes babies to have difficulty sleeping and they can be fussier the usual. You could also try gas drops to maybe help with any gas pains.

Je

Jess • Feb 9, 2020
I know my son only like MAM pacifiers and now my daughter only likes the soothie ones. Hoping it gets better for you soon! It’s so frustrating when you think youve got them figured out and then they throw a loop in things haha.

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 9, 2020
We’ve tried a few different pacifiers, but I’m still determined to find one she likes! Haha it could be the leap - she was almost 2 weeks late so we are close to entering the 3rd leap right now. And the gas drop do seem to help for a short time, but it’s better than nothing! Thanks for the help!!

Ch

Posted at
I'm a couch sleeper too 😂

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 9, 2020
It’s nice to know we aren’t alone! 😩

Ka

Posted at
I’m sure you have but gonna suggest it anyways have you tried different brand pacis? Also if she’s struggling with gas if you haven’t I’d try the Fridababy windii. Only other thing I can think is I believe leap 2 lasts through week 9 and it could be that?

Ka

Kayla • Feb 9, 2020
Sorry i couldn’t be of much help but maybe it’s leap plus growth spurt plus leap plus growth spurt and she’s just having a rough time. I can’t help much because our first was an angel and our second has been 900% better since we changed formulas & he takes a paci once he’s cranky enough (though only nuk or avent soothies)

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 8, 2020
Pressed send too soon 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’m also hoping she’s going through a growth spurt, but it’s been the same now for about 3-4 weeks. I guess regardless, she has to grow out of it at some point. Maybe once she’s a teenager 😂

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 8, 2020
We’ve tried a few different pacis, but I ordered some other ones to try in hopes of finding the right one! haha I love the windi, I’m just nervous that I’m going to get her dependent on them to go. But when we get desperate enough I still use them. Frida baby makes such helpful gadgets!

Br

Posted at
I slept with my little one for 4 weeks on our couch. It was the only way she slept more than 15 minutes. Oddly enough, She always slept on her back on my chest though, so it didn't feel too terrible. Every baby seems to have something that helps them sleep. Mine falls into a deep sleep while comfort nursing. Have you tried a mobile? Or a starry night projector? Maybe she needs visual stimulation to fall asleep. It could be an option. This could also be a phase too and one night she could magically just fall asleep on her own. You could also try a warm bath with some lavender or chamomile lotion.

Br

Brianna • Feb 8, 2020
Yeah, I love sleeping with my little one on the couch too, LOL. She won't nap on me anymore as being in the hospital got her used to spreading out in a crib, LOL. My first baby hated baths But my second girl really likes them thankfully.

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 8, 2020
I’m glad I’m not the only one! Our LO sleeps on her back, too. It’s actually fairly comfy and I love sleeping with her, but it also gives me some anxiety 😕 visual stimulation has never crossed my mind for sleep, but that’s a great idea! She loves watching things move on the TV and it does seem calming for her. I’ll have to give that a try! She unfortunately is not soothed by baths...it’s quite the opposite 😂 I do use lavender lotion after I bathe her, but she’s only taking baths about twice a week, so not every night. I should probably try the lavender lotion even on nights she’s not bathing though.

Am

Posted at
Have you dried a warm bath? Or warm wipe down after the last pamper change? Do you do anything special right before bed each night?

Im

ImmaMomma • Feb 8, 2020
I do lots of play, taking, and tummy time the last hour before I start turning off a lot of lights in the house. I read to lay baby down awake and read or talk to them. There were a lot of methods that followed. We still have some troubles but my little one just started getting better at going to bed

Ka

Kaitlyn • Feb 8, 2020
She usually gets pretty worked up for baths, unfortunately 😕 we have tried a bedtime “routine,” but it doesn’t seem to have much effect. I haven’t tried a warm wipe-down though, maybe that would be less stressful for her than a bath!