Normally I’d stay out if other people’s business but this is weighing heavily on me, and I’m not sure if I should say something.

A very close friend is in a relationship and she now has a child with him. I think she’s the happiest she’s been since I’ve known her. The daughter is a tween and calls the new man “dad”.

Until recently I thought he was doing great with the child. But last time I saw them together he was nasty to her. He yelled at her relentlessly when she touched something that wasn’t hers on the table. It was horrible and she was visibly hurt. I’ve also seen him physically making her uncomfortable, not in a sexual way or anything, but like grabbing her, or pushing her, or poking her hard with his finger. When he’s done this, she has told him to stop and he keeps going. I’ve seen him physically attack my friend too, to the point of hurting her, he’s very childish and thinks this kind of physical behaviour is funny.

I had stepfathers growing up and it was always hard. They treated me like crap and I had a horrible childhood. I know the signs, and I know this will end the same way. I’m concerned for the girl and what she’s going to go through in the future.

I’m not sure what to do. Should I keep my mouth shut? Or make a subtle comment next time it happens? Or go straight for a D&M? It’s probably completely irrational but I’m wanting to help - like if he can cut out the behaviour things are still fixable at this point, but if it keeps going they won’t be. But maybe I’m silly to think I can have any impact at all and this is going to be a dumpster fire in the future.