I have mixed feelings about the month of July and let me explain...I found out I was pregnant February 14, 2017 and later over Joyed to find out a baby girl. Everything was going great! But in the beginning of wk22 I reached up to turn my ceiling fan on (June) and felt a itty bitty amount of water trickle out. Well me always being paranoid would run to the Er or OBGYN constantly over the smallest things so this time I said to myself "Melissa..its just extra pregnancy cm, stop over thinking it." I would constantly have A LOT of watery cm with my pregnancies so I didn't wanna feel embarrassed over going to the Er for 6hrs or OB just to be laughed at so I continued cleaning but my Gut keep saying.."You need to go". A couple days later I felt like she wasn't moving as much so I made an appointment to be checked. I mentioned what had happened just 2 days earlier and he didn't seem concerned either and he put the heart doppler on her for 10min saying she she sounded great no worries even though I mentioned a ultrasound he sent me home sayingits to earlyfor kick counts to worry aboutit right now. A couple more days pass and I felt like I may had BV or yeast infection so I went back because the itching was unbearable. So I seen a different doctor this round. She checked me and came back with the results that yes I had bV and would treat it. She could see on my face something was wrong and asked me if something was bothering me so I mentioned to her I'm barely feeling her movements and I was just there a few days prior. She quickly said let's get you to ultrasound this was at the end of June a day or so b4 July 1st. Long story short...the tech ran out of the room 2min I to my ultrasound and came back with another tech. They put me in a room (like when discussing genetics information) were a doctor came in explaining her fluid was extremely low and her chances of survival was slim. If I could make it one more week (8 days away) to wk 24 I would be hospitalized until she was born. I sat there crying my eyes out alone at my appointment waiting on my husband to come by from work. I begged them to save her I begged them to help her now because my water broke with my 2and at 23 wks in another state I'm originally from and was kept there 9wks until he was born..this hospital turned me away and said go home on bed rest. So I did not even getting up to shower but once every other day for a few minutes or to use the restroom. My appointment was on July 7th and I had reached 24wks so I brought my bag to the hospital ready for the long stay.....long story shorter.....The tech looked at me like I had just lost a puppy and said WELP, NO HEART BEATING TODAY!...No, I'm sorry to tell you or even with sorrow in her voice it was as though she's said it a 100 times b4 with no problems. I had lost my baby girl at 24wks....I was immediately taken upstairs for induction were my baby girl was born in her empty sack still...sleeping peacefully. She suffocated from no water all because I ignored my instincts and because I had Bv and wasn't treated quick enough I PPROMED. She was born on July 8. And laid to rest July 11th....then her little sister was born a year later were she was scheduled to have open heart surgery on July 11th and that's a day for me I just generally needed to get passed but she needed her surgery ASAP so July 11 it was. That was a hard day as well but she thankfully pulled through. Now this LiL girl is due the 26 and July just terrifies me anymore. I know I won't even make it to the 26 I never do I always go early so what if I go between those dates or close? July is just a reminder of the bad but yet the good. It's hard not to focus on having a stillbirth or what if something else goes wrong. Just wanted to vent a bit.