I apologize for the title , but it’s literally the best way I can describe my feelings right now. That’s a lie. I’m obliterated. Pissed off. Dumbfounded and pretty much any other word that is synonymous with disappointment. I don’t know how long I can keep ttc. It’s been YEARS. And nothing. All the doctor can say is unexplained infertility which made me even more angry because essentially I paid a $75 copay for my obgyn to tell me what I already knew. I gained 17 lbs in the month of January. I had this outrageous sense of smell and an appetite that could put Golden Corral out of business. I started to actually have hope after my cycle was four days late with no sign of showing. My husband was even excited which he never gets, because aunt flow always shows, even though I don’t want her to. I apologize for this rant. I probably sound crazy and believe me, I feel that way. When I started spotting, I remember thinking aloud, “This can go really good or very, very bad. “ The spotting turned into a flow while I was at work and I just cried in my cubicle for hours. I’m mad at everyone. Every pregnant person right now is a silent enemy of mine. As I was driving, I saw pregnant teenagers, pregnant crackheads, I mean every type of individual and then I looked at my bloated empty belly like what is wrong with me. I just don’t know if I can keep trying. And I’m starting to lose my sanity, any words of advice