Overbearing mom/grandma.. just venting

This is going to be a long post, but I gotta vent. Like the longest post on glow ever 😂 It feels better to get it off my chest and I don’t have anyone to vent to. I really hope I get some sort of response on what to do because I’m about to lose my freakin mind.

So my mom had me young and I was pretty much raised by my grandparents. We all lived together, but she worked and I stayed home with them. She eventually got married and I had a sister and she turned into a great mom (never was a bad one), but I still honestly view my grandma as my mom.

I have a baby, obviously born in October. At first, I thought it was going to be a good thing because I thought it was going to do nothing but strengthen the relationship I have with my mom. She was very helpful and I was appreciative, it was almost like I was really close to her.

Fast forward a few weeks after she’s born.. Something was said about the baby looking like my mom. It’s like it snapped something in my head and now I can’t stand for my mom to even touch my baby. She just goos and gaas over her. She says that’s my baby, and that’s my girl, blah blah. She tells everyone that my grandma says the baby looks like her when she was little. She invited us to church and I told her no we weren’t going to go. She CRIED, literally CRIED, to my grandma because we wouldn’t go. She is very emotional and literally acts like she is grieving if she doesn’t see my daughter.

My daughter laughed at my husband first, then me several times. My mom held her and she giggled and she went and told everyone she laughed out loud.. ok, no big deal. She did. But she tried to make it seem like she did it first with her. Screw her parents, right?

Anyway, she was also obsessed with doing everything. I made the mistake of letting her give her her first bath. She asks to change her diaper every time she sees her. I’ve started saying no and she can tell I’m agitated by it. She says she just wants to bond with her. In no way, shape, or form is my mom a perv, she’s just into everything. Not trying to say that, but who seriously wants to wipe baby butts????

My grandma is crazy defensive of my mom and has griped at me and asked why I’m so irritable with my mom. I finally broke down and said she is just overboard. She sits and says she just wants to stare at the baby. She loves her so much she can’t stand it. She just wants all of us to go away so she and the baby can play. I also said, she doesn’t have to have her diaper changed every 10 minutes. She just said my mom was caring and the new would wear off.

Anyway, I had to work. My grandma watched my daughter. She’s breastfed and only takes a bottle while I’m at work. I found out when I got home that my mom came over on her lunch break and gave her a bottle and changed her diaper. I know it’s innocent, but it’s like she went behind my back to do stuff. I am a CRAZZZYYYY FTM and unbelievably particular. I know I should take a chill pill, but I really don’t want everyone and their mother giving my baby a bottle. I guess because I breastfeed and it’s our special thing, I don’t want to share it unless I absolutely have to. So, I would prefer it just be my husband or grandma that gives her the bottle.

I know for a fact my grandma wouldn’t starve my kid. She said she ate at 9:30 and then my mom fed her at 12:30. I know a bottle is different, but she nurses a lot more in 3 hours than once. So I’m thinking, did she purposely wait so my mom could give her a bottle? I know in my head that she wouldn’t do that.

It’s like I’m ate up with disgust with my mom. I can’t stand it. I feel like normal women feel like this about their mother in laws.. and here I am being a freaking nut job. I PRAY that this goes away.