How does your husband help with the baby?

Question

At the moment I am on maternity leave with my little one so technically all the baby duties fall on me, also all the parenting falls on me with my 8 year old.  I worry that when I go back to work things aren’t going to change and I’m going to feel the burn out.  My husband will hold the baby when I ask him to and he will put her to bed when I put my son to bed but he doesn’t do other things around the house such as cook, clean, take out garbage and recycling etc. So pretty much everything falls on me.  I take my son to school during the week so sleep ins are not an option and then on weekends my husband gets to sleep in until 11 while I have to wake up at 7am with the baby.  
He’s a personal trainer and absolutely loves his job whereas I work a 9-5 full time job at a hospital and my job is demanding and exhausting. I don’t go back to work for a while yet but I’m dreading it.  Especially if I won’t have much help.

Answer

Here is how we view household chores: it isn’t my job to do them and my husband’s job to “help” me. Nope. Viewing it that way leads to an imbalance. It is BOTH our “jobs” to contribute to our household!
Make a list and put it on the fridge— trash, dishes, laundry, sweeping, wipe counters, whatever. That way your husband knows what needs to be done every day and he can just look at the list and do whatever hasn’t been done that day already.

Answer

I would talk to your husband..... maternity leave doesnt mean a break from work when in all honestly a new born is work 24/8 doesn't ever stop. He should be helping you with the baby duties. You didn't have her on your own. He also needs to help out around the house....

Answer

Agree with the other comments: you need to be straight with him and split the work. Also what we do on weekends is we each get to sleep in one day. Maybe you could do something like that?

Answer

You’re not his maid nor his baby sitter. He lives in that home and is a parent just as much as you are. I’m a stay at home mom my husband works out of town and on his days off he pretty much takes over everything because he knows how stressful juggling two kids can be. He cooks, cleans and does night feedings. 
Have a talk with him and tell him you need him to step up, it’s not only your job momma. He needs to do his share too.

Answer

My husband and I are 50/50. He feeds/changes baby, puts him to sleep, reads with him and plays with him. He goes to every appointment and does drop off in the morning for daycare. We both are back to work full time, but even when I was home and husband was working, he did everything that I did.

Answer

I’m on maternity leave and my husband takes over most the care for the babay when he gets home from work. I like to cook so I normally cook dinner then I have some time for me I clean or shower or take a nap it’s the only way we get anything done or I keep from going crazy! And he gets to bond and spend time with his baby. I would talk to your husband let him know that you need a little help maternity leave is NOT a vacation it’s time to heal and figure out how to adjust your life and to learn how to keep this small person alive!

Answer

We bottle feed so he washes the bottles, preps them for the next day, gets her medicine ready in the syringe (she has an ear infection each month it seems like... Probly going to need tubes in her ears), washes our clothes, changes the crib mattress when she spits up, and does half of the diaper changing and bottle feeding. We try to do as much 50-50 as possible. We’ve all been sick so at this point it’s whoever is the least sick does most of the work lol. But normally it’s more even. But I do more cooking and cleaning. We just rotate who spends time with our daughter so she always has someone watching her.

Answer

For me, things got better and my husband got more involved when I went back to work.  I think a huge factor in that was having a time of the day where he was home alone with the baby. He kind of has a different schedule, so for us we had child care 7-12 and he was home with baby 12-4 (when I got home from work, and then he had to leave for work).  Him having that dedicated alone time during the day really helped him Step up.
I think when I was on maternity leave it was just so easy for him to assume that I would do everything to care for the baby.

How does your husband help with the baby?

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