I think he’s being manipulative but I don’t know how to deal with it :/

Me and him were having an argument about his drinking habits because he’s borderline alcoholic and I said it made me really axioms how much he drank, he completely freaked out and said that he’s gunna completely stop drinking and that he hopes I’m happy now he’s miserable n that i should be proud of myself and stuff like that.

I showed it to a friend and he got really bad about it because he said it was manipulation and completely cut him off. He’s honestly a really nice person and he has really good morals but because he grew up in a household where there was constant violence and arguing he naturally defaults to manipulation because that’s what he learned to do.

He’s honestly a nice person but he keeps driving people away because of the way he deals with conflict. How do u help him?