So this is my first cycle TTC after losing my son in July at 17 weeks.

It actually took 6 months for my body to have a proper period on its own. Long story but I bled from 9 weeks pregnant until 9 weeks post birth. Basically I bled for the same amount of time I was pregnant pretty much. I had to have high dose progesterone in the end to stop the bleeding in September. Completely distrustful of my body now it took 8 weeks for it to end the pregnancy and my little one fought it every step of the way until my waters broke at 16 weeks and he couldn’t hold on any longer.

Once the period actually arrived last month I got excited to try again, I felt fearless despite the never ending ordeal I had been through. My fertile window started yesterday and half way through sex I just couldn’t be bothered anymore but carried on until the end.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it just fear that had been hiding in the background?

My son who I lost was conceived in a month we half heartedly tried while waiting for a cycle to take clomid. I knew right from conception something was wrong then.

I’m worried my mind is warning me again. Maybe now isn’t the time or maybe I’m just being silly.

I was so ready to try and had been for months until it actually came down to it. I’ve taken clomid and everything to prepare.