I will always ALWAYS be so happy and so full of love for every woman I see on here and Facebook, Instagram, wherever, that get their BFP. I will always be happy for every couple posting their beautiful pregnancy announcements. But I feel my heart drop. Every. Single. Time. This is such a mentally, physically, and spiritually difficult journey. Even though I’m not alone, I feel alone. I feel like infertility is something most people (at least my friends and family) don’t talk about. They’re always open to ask “when y’all havin babies??” But they never think of the heartbreak every stupid month when my eyes are shut on the toilet, praying, telling myself it’ll be ok even if it’s negative, (even though I always REALLY think it’ll be positive). Sitting there, praying at 5am just so my husband won’t know so I can finally put my big surprise in motion. The way I’ve played out in my head 1000 times. Then to open my eyes to one line. “Not pregnant” it says. My closest friends and family don’t think of that. If they do, they don’t think to ask. “How are you doing?” “Are you ok?” I just want to scream “NO! CAN’T YOU SEE IT?” I just want someone to ask me, just see the pain, struggle, heartbreak and CARE about it. Lemme tell you, WHEN I get pregnant, I don’t want NOBODY coming around wanting something to do with me if they weren’t there through everything else. I won’t magically become important because I’m having a baby. I’m important now, my husband is important now. Our journey is important now.

Thank you for listening..💗 baby dust to all.❤️