I’m starting to realise for many years now I have let many men walk all over me, degrade me & disrespect me. As I said I ALLOWED it without realising so it is as much my fault as there’s.

My parents divorced when I was 7 years old and then my dad went on and made a new family so I never got much ‘fatherly love’ from him or even felt what it’s like to be loved my your father. I had a step dad for 15 years that everyone thought was so great to me (including myself) although he molested me from 12-21 years old.

I don’t understand what love with a man is. I’ve loved before but I don’t feel ive been loved back. I crave male attention and I degrade myself to get it by sending half naked selfies to guys on my Snapchat etc etc. so I don’t even give myself the respect to allow a guy to get to know me it’s like the sex talk just comes right away.

I’m so over it I hate this feeling I know I’m messed up mentally but can’t afford therapy at the current moment. I need any sort of help, tips red flags etc .. how do you get to know a guy without doing or speaking anything sexually right away?

Even when I try not too they will initiate it and there’s been a lot of times I’ve gone to see guys and felt like I couldn’t leave without giving them some sexual pleasure.

It makes me feel sick that I’ve allowed this. I don’t know who else to talk to about this 😓