Long post but I really need some advice. Please no judgement 😢
I have a 16 month old son and I am also 8 months pregnant. My husband and I fight nonstop. I try and ignore it but he is always yelling at me and calling me stuff like stupid bitch, fat disgusting pig (he weighs almost 300lbs and I am 140 at 8 months pregnant but he calls me fat all the time 🙄), and a piece of shit. He curses in front of our son and I am starting to worry because my son is getting older and I don’t want the behavior to rub off on him. Whenever he yells at me I can’t stop myself from crying and he says I’m way too emotional and a crybaby but I honestly can’t help it. I grew up with a mother who did this to me and it just triggers bad memories and makes me cry.
Well tonight our fight got so bad I started crying and I threw a bunch of papers on the floor. He held our son up to me and was like “look honey, your mommy is a total psycho!” I know it was wrong or me to act that way but why does he have to use my son as a prop like that?! Also he is SO nice to me in front of his friends but is awful to me in private, so I feel like no one will believe me 😢.
My husband’s family all know he is just a mean person and a bully but they don’t know the extent of it. And they live far away from us and I feel so alone and have no family close by. I seriously am so depressed.
I am also in my 3rd semester of a bachelors degree in nursing and all this fighting just adds to my stress. But I want to finish the degree so badly so I have some financial independence. I just feel defeated so much because my husband knocks me down, never helps me with our son and I’m so tired and depressed. I have to ask him multiple times to help me and he rubs it in my face nonstop.
I called my dad the other night and he called my husband and yelled at him. My husband said if i ever tell anyone again about our fights he is divorcing me and leaving me with nothing and will try and take full custody of our kids. He is constantly threatening me with other stuff also.
I am honestly thinking divorce may be a good option though. I know our babies are young but I don’t want them to be subjected to this. I don’t want my son to grow up seeing how my husband treats me and think itsok to do that to women. And I don’t want my daughter to think it’s ok for a woman to just take all this verbal abuse.
I guess I’m just at my wits end and looking for advice. Anyone have any experience or know of anyone who got divorced or left this partner when their kids were really young (like under 2)??
Also, I mentioned to him that we should try couples therapy and he literally said “I don’t need therapy you do.”
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