Nicotine

My parents are smokers and i’ve been stealing their cigarettes and buds to smoke. Always only on the weekends and with a friend and its never been excessive or anything. but today i smoked one on call cause i’d been thinking about it all day. Then after they went to bed i stole three full ones and a ton of buds (way more than i’ve ever done before) and i got so anxious i smoked two buds completely alone and i have terrible anxiety and i’m afraid I’m addicted. And i hate smoking alone and being alone for the buzz. But tonight i just had too. And i’m so worried my mom is going to find out. Threes a lot from one package. I’m not sleeping tonight. I feel so guilty and there’s no way to justify it. I don’t get withdrawal or anything but i’m very young and i also smoke pot and drink on occasion and i don’t care about me or my body or anything. I’m scared my mom will find out, she’d never trust me again and we had such a good day together today. She doesn’t know i do anything like this. And this weekend i’m going to try acid for the first time but with my anxiety i’m afraid i’ll have a bad trip. I know there’s no excuse and i’m not going to stop. I just needed to say it. I’m sorry if you read this.