My baby is almost 3 weeks old and he flat out refuses to sleep in his crib. As soon as I lay him down in the crib he’s awake screaming bloody murder. He isn’t hungry and doesn’t need changed. He absolutely hates being swaddled. The last two nights the only way I could get more than a few minutes of sleep is by holding him... which absolutely scares the crap out of me. I’m a heavy sleeper and we have two dogs who sleep with us with no care to personal space whatsoever.

Last night I got up, soothed him and put him back in the crib (in our room, next to my side of the bed) literally 4 times in one hour. It got to the point of me getting extremely frustrated and said “why won’t you fucking sleep like a normal damn human?!”. Of course I then felt like total shit and cried. Then my husband (bless his heart) suggested putting him in his pack and play (in the upstairs living room) and going back to the room to sleep. So flipped out on him, went upstairs put baby in the pack and play, and fell asleep on the worlds most uncomfortable couch. I got to sleep for ONE HOUR, and baby was up again. I fed him and fell asleep with him still eating (breastfeeding). Woke up to the sound of him choking and freaked out... then slept for 3 hours with him on the couch.

I feel like a complete failure and nothing but a milk machine. I do not like bed sharing and the thought of me sleeping with him on the couch makes me cringe and think the worst will happen. I’m running on empty, and my husband refuses to help. 😭