So my boyfriend and I went to go eat at Taco Bell. Right by the Taco Bell there’s a barbershop and my friend works there. Her and I have never met in person but we talked here and there. He asked if I wanted to invite her to eat and I said “another time.” Then he thought it was rude of me to not ask her to come eat but he treated us out and she’s my friend and I didn’t have the money to treat her. Then he made a big deal about it and wanted to talk about me and how I’m not a peoples person, I switch up when I’m around certain people, and I contradict myself. I can talk to people but I’m awkward at the same time, I pick and choose who to vent to, I like to observe before actually getting to know people, and I’ll talk when I want to talk. I get really bad anxiety when it comes to being around even a small group of people and I just think everyone is looking at me. I care about what people think about me, i want to impress people but then also I want to avoid people because I’m so scared. My bf can vent to me and I’ll listen to him but when I vent he brings up my past and uses it against me and only wants to see from his perspective. I just wish someone would understand me because everyone tells me the same thing: “put yourself out there”, “all you have to do is talk,” “you’re making it harder than it seems”, etc. I just hate that I’m so willing to help and listen to him but I feel like he doesn’t do the same for me.