My fiance started acting weird, so I decided to look through his phone. I caught him talking to his ex. I was devastated. I'm 13 weeks pregnant with our baby and hes talking to someone else. Not just anyone though, I think that wouldve been easier to handle. Hes talking to the girl he was with before me. She was terrible to him too. She cheated multiple times, abused him physically and emotionally, and was just all around trash to him. I've never cheated on him, I supported him when he had no job, never abused him. So why cheat? His response to that question was that he thought I didnt love him and was going to leave him, so he wanted to set up a back up plan. He said it was only her because he knew she'd be there and shes the only person he knows in the state. (He moved here and we got together shortly after.) We decided we wanted to work it out, that we love each other and want to be a family. When I cry because of it he holds me, tells me how sorry he is, tells me how much he loves me, and cries too. I can tell it's been weighing heavy on his mind. Hes been very attentive and apologetic. He cries all the time. He keeps telling me that he realized how close he was to losing me because of one mistake, and that it will never happen again. He was just scared I was going to leave him and wanted someone to be there for him so he wasnt alone dealing with it. (I should mention that he has bpd, anxiety, depression, and ptsd so him being alone when feeling like that more than likely wouldnt be a good thing.) No I'm not trying to make excuses for him, just making sure you ladies have all the details. Anyway when I found out, there was only part of the messages there. He told me every single thing that was said, and then sent her a message telling her that he doesnt love her and doesnt want to be with her, that he fucked up, he loves me and wants to be with me. Hes been trying so hard to make it work, it's just so hard for me. I love him with everything in me, but sometimes I cant even look at him without crying. We're trying, it's just hard. Anyone else been in this situation? Some advice on how to get past this would be great.

For everyone that's saying I need to know both sides of the story, I do. I've talked to her. She makes sure I know both sides. He proposed and she cheated a week later, they split up. They got back together, he proposed again, she cheated again. Whenever he was having a bad day where his mental illnesses were bothering him, she would tell him to kill himself. He supported her completely, she never had to work. When he came home from work, he had to clean and cook. He was great to her, obviously they argued as most couples do but he never got out of line. He never put his hands on her or told her things like she did him. After we got together, she also said she was pregnant. Right after we got engaged, she lost it. She sent us an ultrasound, didnt have her name on it or birthdate. It had someone else's. Even though they've been through all of this, they've also had 3 children, which she miscarried. He said he went to what was familiar and someone who he knew would be there for him, and said what he had to to keep her around. Also, hes never used his mental illnesses as an excuse. Not once. He knows it's not an excuse.