Sometimes I just need you to spell it out for me. I need to see in writing "not pregnant." Every month I shed a tear for what could have been and wonder why it can't be. Why does my sister in law with the failing marriage get 4 "accident" babies in 5 years. Why does my teenage cousin get to get pregnant from a one night stand. (baby daddy now in jail) Why does no one around me have to know this struggle? I got up pulled out my trusty digital test, convincing myself all the other tests were wrong. Convincing myself I was going to get to wake my husband up on Valentine's day and tell him we did it. But unfortunately we didn't. Over and over it seems like we don't. Over and over I've seeked "cycle buddies" and everyone ends up pregnant. Except me. I'd give anything to see "pregnant".....…