So my fiancé and I were supposed to be ttc our first child... or so I thought. Back in November he’s the one who brought it up and even said the words “well I thought we were trying” after I mentioned to him I was in my fertile window because I’m not on birth control and we had mentioned it here and there but hadn’t actually sat done and discussed it and decided. So that night we did talk about it and I started tracking my cycles more than I was and this month I took a shot at an ovulation kit. Last night we were talking and he says to me “you know we have to put off having kids right? With the wedding and all” I just nodded my head because I was so mad I couldn’t even think and “and then he said “so you should probably stop telling me to cum inside of you” because it turns him on when I say that I said “you like hearing it. And he said he likes hearing other things better and then he left the room to go smoke and when we came back we started talking about other things. I’m angry, upset and confused. I still have 8 ovulation tests and the pregnancy test that came with it but I guess I can throw all of it away now. But most of all, I feel crazy. I feel like this entire time I’ve been trying to get myself pregnant because this has apparently been one sided. I’ve been tracking my cycles, hoping for the best, buying ovulation kits, just for him to say this. I feel like the crazy girl that baby traps men.

Anyways, I just needed to vent because I have no one else to talk to. Our family and friends didn’t know about it so I can’t tell them.