im not here crying for help or advice i jus need to get this off my chest ...

so lately my boyfriend has been so distant since he got his phone back seem like sneak & i noticed a big difference when he got his phone back he stop really talking texting me , & he would wN to be w me but he would talk w me it would be rude like if he didnt want nothing to do w me but pay no attention to me for nothing unless he wan food or something couple days before i caught him reacting texting other females & its not the first he has done it & i started getting teary eye so i called my friend and ask her if she was home so i can go over n he heard me and told me to get out the car n start walking so i did & he went to her house after words and i told him im over it im hurt i cant do it bkus i love him so much but he doesnt get it , like i dont wan to leave him i know what hes doing and what he has done isnt right n i don’t deserve it but i love him so much it hurts. in the night before we go to sleep i just cry , cry . cry n cry sooo much till i have a really bad headache bkus of what he done & hes jus across from he jus on his phone acting like if im not there sobbing right infront of him . he texts , check out females when were out in public together change hes passwords , get calls at random times doesnt let me use his phone at all or anything i know i ahouldnt be w him but i love him so much and it hurts so much hes fine while im hurting so much bekus of him .