I resent my stepson because of his mother. Now I'm 8 months pregnant i don't want him around straight after my baby is born. Am i wrong for feeling this way?*update *

Hi guys, I hate writing this because i feel so guilty, but i can't help how i feel!

Ok so a little background, I've been with my husband 8 years married for 3. We have an amazing relationship and from the get go i loved his son!

He's such a sweet well behaved loving little boy (I'll call him Mikey).

From the onset Mikey and I were really close and we built such a strong bond, I've known him since he was 4. His mum however is the devil incarnate! She constantly tried to create problems and also threatened my husband would not see Mikey on multiple occasions. They had been broken up since before Mikey was born as she cheated on my husband whilst pregnant with Mikey (they were kids and still in school when she got pregnant).

Despite personal feelings i never contacted her (she's not my responsibility and it wasn't my situation to get involved in). I was always respectful and tried to see things from her point of view. This was never reciprocated, she would message my husband insulting me despite never having met me and would try to make things hard for my relationship, calling all hours at night, asking for more money from my husband despite getting child support, stopping him seeing his son, always changing drop off and pick up points last minute, causing petty arguments etc.

Ffwd to now she's been such a nightmare to the point i resent Mikey (as much as i love him) if he wasn't around i wouldn't have to deal with her or her bs. I wish we could co-parent peacefully but she acts very immature and her family co-sign alot of her childish unnecessary behaviour.

I'm now pregnant with our first child and i resent the fact that alot of how things are organised are based around someone else's child. I've been patient and respectful for years and i now feel it's rightfully my turn to be selfish!

I want to focus on our growing family (my husband, baby on the way and myself) and don't feel that i should feel guilty for this. This is my first ever child and i want to enjoy this with my husband without having to take anyone else into consideration or dealing with any drama. I feel my husband and i should be allowed to spend this time together enjoying this amazing experience.

I know it's not Mikey's fault and i don't blame him for any of this, but i hate his mum and the amount of stress she has caused my husband and i over the years. She's also caused drama during the pregnancy especially when she first found out i was pregnant.

We have Mikey every weekend and baby is due on the weekend Mikey is meant to be with us. In a perfect world his mum would be understanding and would compromise on swapping a few days so we can enjoy this, however, Lucifer isn't understanding and won't compromise. So now we have to figure out what to do with Mikey when we are in hospital having our baby.

I don't want Mikey at the hospital as i worry that understandably my husband would be distracted thinking about his wellbeing rather than being 100% focused in the delivery room with me. Also i just want my husband and I to enjoy our new baby and new family alone for atleast 2 weeks so we can bond as a new unit and share this special little bubble before family and friends visit, Mikey included!

I understand that Mikey was part of the package deal when i married my husband and i love Mickey and my husband enormously! However, I've spent 8 years putting everyone else, and a situation i played no part in creating, first at all times. I've missed out on alot of things and dealt with alot of things because of this 'blended family' bullshit dynamic.

I just want to enjoy the birth of my first child and my husband selfishly for a small period of time. I don't think I'm asking too much or being unreasonable. At what point do i get to put myself and my feelings first? This if ever is the time right? I don't want Mikey feeling left out, and I don't want my husband to feel like he has to choose between his child and his wife because that is definitely not what i want. I just want the opportunity to enjoy my little family for a while before all these other factors get in the way and ruin the moment.

***update***

Some of the comments on here are crazy! How can you lecture me about someone else's feelings while insulting me and dismissing mine? Classic hypocrisy and keyboard warriors!

I feel like my intentions and feelings have been completely misunderstood!

I have never nor would ever treat Mikey badly i have treated him like my own since I've met him. We even have date nights so we can spend time together one on one he is not the problem his mother on the otherhand is!

I didn't say i dislike him i said i hate his MUM however, just because its inconvenient i can't just erase hurt feelings thats not how it works unfortunately.

Yes he is my stepson not my biological child, he has a loving mum that is very much involved in his life i am not his mum and would never disrespect her, their bond and her experience raising him by saying otherwise. I'm just another adult in his life that cares about him and wishes the best for him.

This is my first pregnancy and despite taking care of and helping to raise a 13 year old this would be MY child that I gave birth to that has MY DNA therefore making this my first child. Yes Mikey is my childs sibling and i want them to be close, and have a great relationship but as this is my first pregnancy i want to enjoy it as exactly that! I'll never have another first and i don't think having a stepchild should mean i have to miss out on this experience of being a ftm. I've made sacrifices but my pregnancy and labour should not be another 1 i have to make.

I know 2 weeks is excessive just wishful thinking! but it would be nice to have some time alone even if just a day!

I'm not pushing Mikey out and i never want him gone i just want to enjoy being a first ftm for a little while without the drama that comes along with Mikey's mum🤷🏾‍♀️

As one of the other girls so finely said you don't all know what I've gone through and continue to go through. choosing to accept and love my husband and his past was not an automatic acceptance of being constantly disrespected. It wasn't acceptance of not being allowed to enjoy pregnancy and motherhood for the first time as any other ftm would be granted. I took on Mikey with an open heart and continue to do so.

I know babies don't always arrive on their due date, but my baby is arriving on that weekend as I'm being induced on my exact 38wk date. His mum physically attacked me when i dropped him home last weekend and ive been put on bedrest and monitoring until said date.