10 dpo spotting... Bad sign?

The only times that I've spotted before a bfp (12 and 13 dpo) they ended in miscarriages a few weeks later... Now I'm afraid to test and find out that I am pregnant, only to miscarry again 😫 I almost hope I start my period. It seems that everyone is excited about the possibility of implantation bleeding, but the only experience I've had with bleeding around the stage ended in loss. If anyone is able to offer some hope... I could really use it. I don't even know if I'm pregnant or not, yet I am so afraid I will miscarry.